Finding Balance as a Mom: Choosing Yourself and Embracing Life

The Single Mom

As a single mom, I’ve always struggled to remember to take time for myself. My world revolves around my son—my only child, my partner in crime, my everything. It’s been hard to take a step back, especially during the times when he’s not with me. 

For context, I have my son majority of the time, and when he’s not with me, I often feel like I’m stuck. I’ve felt like I couldn’t fully experience life, try new things, or indulge in what I wanted to do. Part of this stemmed from being in a relationship that was controlling and all-consuming, but even after that chapter ended, the struggle to find myself remained.

Here’s what I’ve realized: that feeling doesn’t have to be my reality. It isn’t the truth. There is a way to find balance—between being a mom and being yourself.

Not the version of yourself society tells you to meet some impossible standard of a “perfect mom.” What even is a perfect mom? Does she exist? I’m not sure. What I do know is that my child chose me—spiritually, emotionally, and physically. That means I have the honor of showing him this incredible world, full of new experiences, amazing people, vibrant art, delicious food, love, happiness, and joy.

I want my son to see a world that’s not something to fear but something to embrace. I want him to know that he can—even when he feels scared, sad, or unsure—because his mom can too. I want to lead by example.

I’m writing this in a coffee shop. I just dropped my son off at a birthday party he wanted to attend, and for a moment, I felt that all-too-familiar sadness creep in. “What am I going to do now?” I thought. But instead of letting that feeling take over, I chose to try something different. I came here, ordered a coffee, and sat down to write.

When I pick him up later, I’ll share this moment with him. And from now on, I know there will be more moments like this—more experiences we can both bring into our lives to inspire each other.

To all the mothers out there—whether you’re single, married, or partnered—I want you to know this: You can. No one else can define what’s right for you. You can choose what’s best for yourself and, in doing so, show your child that they can do the same. By embracing life, you’ll inspire them to do the same.

The world is abundant. It has so much to offer you and your child. Go out and live it.

Take time for yourself, even if it’s just 30 minutes. Go to the places you’ve always wanted to visit, no matter how small or insignificant they may seem. Stay in the moment, embrace it, and enjoy it.

You have a purpose. You deserve to experience the joy, love, and freedom this world has to offer. I hope these words bring inspiration to those who need it.

I see you. I embrace you. Let’s take that step toward living life fully—together.

Loves & Hugs to my Readers, Lovers and Dreamers

-Sunshine J.Bills

Things to do by yourself 

• Coffee shop 

• Broadway show 

• Brunch/Lunch/Dinner 

• Hiking/Walking 

• Movies 

• Shopping (for yourself) 

• Reading/Painting in the park 

• Travel (Far or a staycation)

• Selfcare Day 

• Something you have never done before

• Grab a friend new or old

• Driving!! In Canyons/town/neighborhood (this is my personal favorite with your favorite playlist I feel so much love around me)